It’s one thing to be casually dating someone. If that’s the case, this article doesn’t really apply to you. But if you and a guy have both made the decision—which means that you both sat down and had a conversation about it—that you’re going to be exclusive, please make sure to read this article all the way through.
In the effort to make sure that you’re not the only one who’s remaining true and/or to confirm any sneaky suspicions that you may have, here are 15 signs that while you might think you’re his only one, there could be a couple of other women lurking around.
1. He’s secretive
There is a lot to be said for a woman’s intuition. Not to say that it’s always right, but if something feels not quite right, it’s OK to bring it up to him. If you feel like he’s avoiding the answers, chances are it’s because there’s something that he doesn’t want you to find out.
2. He’s changed his relationship status online
It’s one thing if he never really posted his relational status before. But if it did say “in a relationship” and now it says, well nothing, don’t let him tell you that it’s about his need for privacy. Ask him what’s really going on.
3. He cancels dates (at the last minute)
Have you ever heard the saying “If a woman cancels a date, she has a good reason but if a guy does it he has another woman?” While that’s not a full-proof way of thinking and sometimes things are not nearly as cut-and-dried, pay attention to last-minute dates that suddenly canceled. Especially the ones that get canceled for no good reason. Hint: “I’ve just got something to take care of real quick” is not a good enough reason.
4. He doesn’t answer direct questions
This one basically ties into the secretive thing that we mentioned earlier. “So, where have you been?” shouldn’t require a lot of stammering and stuttering. If that’s what you’re getting, keep that on your radar.
5. He manipulates
When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to speak freely about what concerns you. If you ask him what’s going on, if he has feelings for someone else or why you aren’t spending as much time together as you used to anymore and he flips the script by asking you the same things, honey you’re not confused. In order to get you off of your game, you’re being manipulated.
6. He tells you to “stop being so paranoid”
And if manipulating you doesn’t work, the next thing he’ll try to do is make you feel like you’re being paranoid. Look, a good boyfriend is not going to blame you for your concerns. He’s not going to make you feel insecure about them either. He’s going to listen, address the issues and then seek to get a mutual understanding. If he’s not doing that, you’re not “paranoid”; he’s being a jerk.
7. He’s less intimate with you
Whether it’s kissing and cuddling or sex, if you’re used to a certain groove or pattern (when it comes to frequency) and suddenly it’s significantly decreased…unless there’s a medical reason, something ain’t right.
8. He keeps you away from his friends
One sign that a guy is into you is if he brings you around his friends. And one sign that a guy is up to no good? He suddenly shuns you from them. Why? Because guys talk and there’s a pretty good chance that he doesn’t want them to bring up a topic or name in your presence. (Hmph.)
9. He gets upset whenever you bring it up
People who are guilty are oftentimes the ones who go on the defensive. If he tries to get mad whenever you ask him about his whereabouts or who a certain person is who incessantly rings his phone, don’t get all in a tizzy. Just take note for further reference.
10. He tries and “flip the script”
If you feel like you have enough significant evidence to flat-out ask him if he’s cheating and he turns it around on you and asks you if you are, clearly it’s a deflection. Stay focused.
11. He talks about needing space
So, for the past several months, he honestly couldn’t get enough of seeing you and suddenly he now needs space?!? Space to do what? See the other chick? Gimme a break. If he needs space that bad, what you might need to do is break up.
12. He uses your name less and less
Years ago, R&B group Destiny’s Child had a song called “Say My Name”. It definitely applies when it comes to this particular point. Being called “baby” is sweet-n-all, but if suddenly that’s all you’re addressed with, something may be up. After all, it’s a lot easier to keep all of the women straight if there’s the same pet name for each one. Right?!?
13. He’s overprotective about his things
No, you shouldn’t be going through his phone or checking his emails. Frankly, if you disagree then your relationship is probably in more trouble than you think (trust-wise). But if he jumps when you walk into a room while he’s reading a text or he pretty much loses it when his phone rings and you hand it to him, that’s his issue. Not yours.
14. He’s harder to get a hold of
It amazes us how many people still don’t realize that people can tell when they push them to voice mail. If your man is doing that to you or he’s not replying to your texts or returning your phone calls within a reasonable amount of time (within the hour), ask him what’s up. And pay close attention to the answer too.
15. A girl tells you so
Whether it’s a female friend of yours, a female friend of his or another “random” woman altogether, don’t ignore information that’s given to you about what he’s been up to. While it may not be the gospel truth, chances are there are some facts that will help you to put all of the puzzle pieces together in order to give you a much bigger picture. If not immediately, eventually.