Meeting “the one”. Is that not what every girl hopes will (eventually) happen every time she goes on a first date? Because while eating at a new restaurant or checking out the latest romantic comedy or action film is cool and all, the truth is that all of us could do these things with our friends. When you decide to do these kinds of things with a guy, it’s about spending quality time—it’s about getting to know them better so that you can see if the initial interest can grow into chemistry and ultimately a true love connection.
Personally, we think that it would suck, big time, to spend weeks dating someone only to find out that
A) they’re not as into you as you were into them;
B) they don’t want the same things that you do (meaning, a relationship) or
C) they’re hiding another side to their personality.Not in the psycho way but in the “I’m seeing a few other people but what does that have to do with us?!?” kind of way.
Time is a precious commodity. One that none of us can ever get back. So, before you go on your next first date, we wanted to share with you some tips for how you can know if you’re dating one of the good guys. Umm…or not.
1. He’s attentive.
If a guy is attentive, you’ll be able to spot it within the first five minutes of a date. He’ll keep eye contact when talking to you, his smartphone will not be anywhere in sight and throughout the date, he’ll do his best to make sure that you are comfortable and that you have everything that you need.
2. He’s honest.
A lot of times, when people think of the word “honest” in the dating/relationship context, they simply mean that the person they are with is not cheating on them. However, a truly honest person is more than faithful. An honest individual has honorable intentions. They are fair in dealing with those around them. And they do their best to stick to their personal values and intentions. In short, an honest person is a person with integrity.
If you’ve ever dated a guy where you felt like you were the one who was doing most (if not all) of the work, then you’ve probably been fantasizing about this particular trait. A thoughtful guy is going to call you to wish you “good morning”. A thoughtful guy is going to send you a text in the middle of the day to let you know that you crossed his mind. A thoughtful guy is going to tell you on Wednesday that he has a surprise planned for you on Saturday. Bottom line, a thoughtful guy is going to let you know that you’re on his radar. And that he’s planning on keeping you there for as long as he possibly can.
4. He’s friendly (to everyone).
Although you definitely want the kind of guy who is going to treat you with the utmost respect, remember that during the first few dates, he’s trying to impress you. This means that he’s going to put on his very best behavior for your ultimate benefit. That’s why you shouldn’t only pay attention to how he speaks to you, but how he treats those around him, including your server (if you’re dining out). A man who nice, funny and sincere—a man who is friendly can’t hide it. And you know what? A man who is rude as all get out can’t either.
5. He’s romantic.
While it’s fair to keep in mind that not every man is rolling in the big bucks, real romance doesn’t require a lot of finance; it just needs creativity. Take this shot, for example. There are a lot of places that will rent out a boat for next to nothing and just look at how romantic everything is! A picnic in the middle of the day. Roses delivered to your job. Shoot, even kissing in the rain. All of this qualifies as being romantic. If the guy you’re seeing is doing these sorts of things, you’ve got a real Romeo in your midst.
6. He’s proactive.
If you were to get a group of women together to discuss their relationship pet peeves, although you might not hear many of them say “he’s not proactive enough”, if you read between the lines, that’s basically what they’d be getting at. A wise man once said that it’s better to not do what you need to apologize for than to say you’re sorry and there’s a lot of wisdom in that. Although it’s important for women to remember that men aren’t mind readers, so they need to share what their needs are, a proactive man is going to take note. He’s going to proactively show that he’s invested in the relationship rather than be reactive to when his lady tells him that she doesn’t feel like he’s investing enough.
7. He’s patient.
Yes, there are a lot of articles that speak to the fact that many people participate in what is known as “the hook-up culture” (Tinder, anyone?). At the same time, that doesn’t mean everyone is down for a one-night stand or even sex after the third date. If you happen to be one of those individual who would prefer to wait a while, that’s perfectly fine. And you know what? A good guy is going to respect and support your decision. He’ll be patient—because he’ll know that you’re worth the wait. (And you are!)
8. He’s consistent.
For the record, consistent doesn’t always or necessarily mean boring or even super predictable. What it does mean, though, is that your guy will be dependable and reliable. He will say what he means and mean what he says. Translation: If he tells you that he’s going to call you in an hour, you can trust that he will (give or take 10 minutes). If he says that he’s going to pick you up after work, you won’t need to bum a ride from your friends. Consistency is like your favorite pair of PJs. It’s always there for you and just feels…good.
9. He’s not a commitment-phobe.
Hey, if you don’t want a commitment, that’s totally fine. Do you, girl! But if you are looking to do more than casually date, then you deserve to be with the kind of man who is on the same page as you are, right? That’s not to say that there aren’t some good guys who aren’t looking to get into anything too deep. BUT what makes a guy a bit, let’s say “shady”, is when he knows what you want, dates you for several weeks and then basically freaks out when you bring up that you want a relationship. A guy who makes you feel like something’s wrong with you for wanting a commitment is usually a guy who has deep-rooted commitment issues. He’s not our favorite kind of dude. Yeah, watch out for him.
10. He’s always raising the bar.
Have you ever come home to a lit-up fort in your living room? That’s kind of our point. You can know that you’re dating one of the good ones when he’s not only meeting your expectations but exceeding them. A man who is doing what you never thought of before? That’s a keeper. Remember that we said it.